so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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