You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
