I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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