i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
