The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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