Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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