but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
