ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize