so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im holly from the hills drunk
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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