I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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