BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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