Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
