Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
