dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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