Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
