just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
