Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
