i don't like sucking hair
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
