8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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