he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
