I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
