i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
