can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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