can u get pink eye on your cock?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
