Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
