i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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