His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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