So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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