its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
