Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
