Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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