I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize