So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
