And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
