That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
