I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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