Ambien. No doubt about it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
