there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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