onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
