ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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