I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
