I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
