That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
