Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
