Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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