Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
