just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize