Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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