If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..