try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.