The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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