Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
