We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
