get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
