I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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