Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
only you would photoshop your dick
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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