sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
