There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
