May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I party with great urgency now.
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